Using the student work we have read this term
as models, and the PowerPoint from last class, create a working draft of
your results/discussion section. This draft will probably not fit into one
posting area, so create and post a link to a cloud stored version of your paper. Your original
posting is due before class on April 20th.
The second part of this posting calls you to do a thorough review of a
partner's results/discussion sections. The peer review is due before midnight on April 24th. You must review the work of a student who has not had his/her work
reviewed as yet. Also, you must review the work of a student who you did NOT cover in our in-class peer review.
It will help to leave a brief message below someone's
original posting indicating that you plan to review their work (so while
you are doing the review someone else doesn't snap up your review and
leave you in trouble). I recommend leaving an original message below
someone's posting that reads something along the lines of: "I will cover
your peer review." Once someone leaves this posting, it will help
ensure that everyone gets a review.
Peer Review Instructions:
Number each paragraph and on a separate word document
write a one sentence synopsis of each paragraph’s topic and purpose. Leave
ample space between so you can write and elaborate further on each paragraph. If
a paragraph seems to be going in multiple directions, note the different
directions the paragraph takes and explore connections between divergent ideas.
Note key support for each paragraph Evaluate how well the support/details are implemented.
How well does the paragraph establish context and evidence? Is there a need for
more details to expand a point or a need for more evidence or perhaps analysis
of evidence to help deliver a point?
Create a
ranking system to identify which
paragraphs are most effective and which ones are less effective.
Following your discoveries and inferences from your above sections, underscore
aspects from each paragraph that need improvement and establish criteria for
what works well in paragraphs that are strong and well developed. Look at
transitions between different paragraphs and explore ways to improve transitions
from one paragraph to the next.
Next, read
the paper once more through; identify and look
for a main point of theme that guides the results/discussion. From your previous analysis, and multiple
reads, determine what central claim is being presented. How clearly
stated is the central finding? How can it be better stated? If there are a
series of important claims, how could those claims be organized under one
larger umbrella claim?
Come up with at least two questions to help the writer think critically
about the direction of the results/discussion sections. What do you as a reader
want to know more about? Where is the
piece most effective and why? Which details and part of the essay stand out as
most memorable and effective and why? Where does this piece need to be improved?
Be specific in your commentary of your peer’s work.
Post your feedback as a response to the writer's initial posting.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1HThdvy_BUpjUP6gO_yvyqAjhHoe20L-AgcGHEXNoxM0/edit?usp=sharing
ReplyDeletehttps://docs.google.com/document/d/1gQ39kWoPInjhYU3TDbjbjI8Hpmmk0KP1Dcmmrauh6Ko/edit?usp=sharing
Deletehttps://docs.google.com/document/d/1Yp07Igw7b2jo-83wxpHP4MkBauR9E3lpw2XKlnceJ7g/edit?usp=sharing
ReplyDeletehttps://docs.google.com/document/d/1-R-ypybS9uKiILTBiHvuL5xFwk-vdPCduzH_VvYnBQY/edit?usp=sharing
ReplyDeletehttps://docs.google.com/document/d/1cdKmOjZ6NdiVqiXFHcwpipts1FzTAf8ccAPMPmEowFI/edit
ReplyDeletehttps://docs.google.com/document/d/1uNEaOltBzNZe5hOy0g8JLVPmdxWR6FfLu24K47GOYxI/edit?usp=sharing
ReplyDeletehttps://docs.google.com/document/d/1V5dmp2wMAVQy4i1zFIudJBmfHZ-6pSo8ST15tJvqyt8/edit?usp=sharing
Deletehttps://drive.google.com/file/d/0Byhh3AYFJ-9LYXBVbVZLSzhGU0k/view?usp=sharing
ReplyDeleteMaryAnn Marichal
ReplyDeleteProfessor Joseph Longhany
ENC 1102 TTh 3:00pm
25 April 2017
Research Conducted by the Author
Interview
After careful research, it was time to conduct a research project on my own. The purpose of this experiment was to evaluate if college freshman did or did not gain weight during their first semester. The targeted subjects were three females and three males that are currently in college. Each college students were given a series of questions and here are the results.
The first student was Vy Tran, a college freshman at the University of Central Florida. During her first semester of college, she states that she gained seven pounds. Her reason to weight gain is the high levels of stress that was caused by school work. She has tried to lose weight and has been successful with dieting and exercise. The following female that was interview was Nathalie Marichal. She is currently a college freshman at Valencia College. Ms. Marichal did not gain any weight during her first semester of college; instead she lost ten pounds by portioning the amount of food that she would consume. The last female college student that was interviewed was Rose Mahdavieh. She was the only student that was interviewed who lost weight instead of gaining weight due to stress.
The interviews with the male college students were a different story. All three males during their first semester of college gained weight. The first male that was interviewed was Daniel Kay, a college freshman at Valencia College. During his first semester of college, he gained thirteen pounds due to stress eating. He has not tried to lose weight because he feels comfortable with the way that he is now. The next student was Dimitri Conmichelos, who studies physics and engineering at Vassar College. In his interview, he states that his weight gained was caused when moved from Athens, Greece to the United States. The drastic change of countries really affected him that he started to eat more than usual. The final male college student that was interviewed was Jake Kelso, who is a current at the University of Central Florida. Jake gained twenty-two pounds during his first semester at the University of Central Florida due to not having his mother cook him healthy food.
Discussion
The study conducted by the author shows that the students who were interviewed, were prone to gain weight due to stress and not knowing how to manage that stress in a healthy way. In the study, four out of six freshman gained weight during their first semester of college. The ranges of finding what caused these freshmen to gain weight go from stress to not having their parents cook them healthy meals. Findings show that two girls, instead of gaining weight, lost weight due to loss of appetite because of stress. The rest of the subjects gained weight ranges from seven to twenty- two pounds.
Peer Reviews
ReplyDeleteAlexis:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1V5dmp2wMAVQy4i1zFIudJBmfHZ-6pSo8ST15tJvqyt8/edit?usp=sharing
Rhyan: https://docs.google.com/document/d/18vesunv6keJhqGx8tjecTqvWjw15sFQjpY6P6Pl93e4/edit?usp=sharing
Giovanni:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1gQ39kWoPInjhYU3TDbjbjI8Hpmmk0KP1Dcmmrauh6Ko/edit?usp=sharing
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeletePeer Reviews:
ReplyDeleteBreeana Robertson: https://drive.google.com/file/d/0Byhh3AYFJ-9LZEEtRVVsbGp0b1k/view?usp=sharing
Demetra Green: https://drive.google.com/file/d/0Byhh3AYFJ-9LbG80MmllWUVpN00/view?usp=sharing
Matthew Reinhart: https://drive.google.com/file/d/0Byhh3AYFJ-9LSGFINlVmd2V2ODg/view?usp=sharing
Don't know why the name spacing is messed up. First one is Breeana, second one is Demetra, third is Matthew.
DeleteKyle Lewis:
ReplyDeletehttps://docs.google.com/document/d/1tO1i35DDITj_awVt1Cn5GwDizddTcsFuYMdH9OwfhSs/edit (Links to an external site.)Links to an external site.
Jon Frucht:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1vAYx1EtWlP47kPK7Xqlm27t5HyWHWB9JT2MD8WO3UBs/edit (Links to an external site.)Links to an external site.
Kayla Morrow:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1HIvJxVss_9Z0a83Zd4wXTDHOCWXDBV6B_gkOQp8j54o/edit (Links to an external site.)Links to an external site.
MaryAnn Marichal
ReplyDeleteProfessor Joseph Longhany
ENC 1102 TTh 3:00pm
21 April 2017
Peer Review: Demetra Green
Paragraph 1: The first paragraph gives out the results that “students who do use social media accounts and technology takes up more hours during the day than those who do not.”
Central claim: I believe the central claim is reviewing what the study was about.
Number of Effectiveness: 2
Paragraph 2: This paragraph states how technology can play a key factor in the student life.
Central claim: Technology takes up hours for students that use social media daily.
Number of Effectiveness: 1
Questions: Where is the data that you did your experiment? What is your personal opinion on technology taking over students’ lives?
Peer Review: Alexis Freir
Paragraph 1: The first paragraph goes into the first person that was interviewed. I feel the you need to open up the introduction with what the purpose of the interview is for.
Central claim: I believe the central claim is finding what type of motivation this student has.
Number of Effectiveness: 1
Paragraph 2: I like this paragraph because it gives more details about the interview.
Central claim: I believe the central claim is that the second person interview has different type of motivation for certain classes.
Number of Effectiveness: 3
Paragraph 3: This paragraph is well written as the second paragraph. I would consider comparing the second and third paragraphs.
Central claim: This student did not care about his studies until his junior year because the classes he is taking now will help him in the future.
Number of Effectiveness: 3
Paragraph 4 & 5: I love how much in-depth details that you go into for this interview.
Central claim: She compares how the student was during her undergraduate versus was during nursing school.
Number of Effectiveness: 5
Paragraph 6: This paragraph summarizes the information that you found during your interviews. I like how you use their names instead of first person pronouns.
Central claim: All students except for one thought that students engage in intrinsic motivation, they would have to remove general education classes.
Number of Effectiveness: 6
Paragraph 7: In this paragraph, I think it would be best to predict the results that you have collected.
Central claim: I believe that the central claim is how extrinisic and intrinsic motivation are necessary for academic success.
Number of Effectiveness: 4
Paragraph 8: I think you should put the 7th and 8th as one paragraph instead of two.
Central claim: Universities to help students engage in intrinsic motivation would to be remove general education.
Number of Effectiveness: 1
Questions:
What causes these students to become more motivated?
Does the data you collected apply to all studies or just nursing students?
Peer Review: Rhyan Grant
Paragraph 1: This first paragraph states your results. I believe it will be helpful if you state why you are doing this experiment.
Central claim: I am not sure what the central claim is in this paragraph.
Number of Effectiveness: 2
Paragraph 2: The second paragraph is very well written in describing your findings.
Central claim: I believe that the central claim is the feedback is the factor that was picked most frequently.
Number of Effectiveness: 5
Paragraph 3: It describes how the interview went and the process.
Central claim: I believe that the central claim is the student’s feedback.
Number of Effectiveness: 3
Paragraph 4: This paragraph highlights the main reasons why feedback is important for academic success.
Central claim: I believe that the central claim is how feedback allows students to see their mistakes.
Number of Effectiveness: 4
Paragraph 5: This paragraph adds content in your results.
Central claim: I believe that the central claim is feedback can sometimes discourage the student.
Number of Effectiveness: 7
Questions:
Do certain students find feedback helpful or does it have a negative effect?
Does students use feedback to help them in their work?
https://docs.google.com/document/d/12re80ISdYb94t_Hkv46in2fY_YeI2I8pXyY0CcgM-KY/edit
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